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Dreaming and Scheming

In our Christmas card this year, I listed my current activities as "dreaming and scheming." There were reasons for this--deep and complicated reasons--but after I ordered the cards, I realized that people probably just wanted to know whether I was still working where I work.

I'm still working where I work. Glad we got that out of the way.

Not long before we got married, we received some stellar advice.
Take a year off. Don't feel like you have to do big things or sign up for lots of stuff. Walk the perimeter.
In other words, turn your attention inward and take some time to appreciate this whole marriage thing.

And that's what we did. For a whole year, I let myself rest. I put no pressure on myself to perform or achieve or accomplish. I didn't hide from challenges, but I also didn't seek them out. I let God bring me things to do and didn't go looking for any more.

Then we celebrated our first anniversary, and I was excited to begin again. I like accomplishing things. Complicating matters, however, was the fact that I hadn't been in a stable place like this since before college. It has been seven years since I've had a blank slate for dreams and goals.

As my first act with this blank slate, I challenged myself to win NaNoWriMo again...after four failed attempts (and two victories prior to those). That's hard to explain on a Christmas card with limited space. (I did win.)

And at work, a door opened, and I began pursuing a new role in a new organization. At the time we ordered the Christmas cards, I wasn't sure if this was going to pan out, so I certainly couldn't talk about it. (It did.)

Those were just the first steps. For the first time in seven years, I feel ready to take on long-term goals, not just small-scale challenges to keep me motivated. After seven years of study-study-study and adult-adult-adult and dating-engagement-wedding, I'm finally breathing. I'm emerging from a cozy hibernation cave to consider both myself and the world around me.

I don't know what my next challenge is going to be. I've accomplished a lot in the last seven years, and while it's all been indisputably good, very little of it has been the result of my own dreaming, my own planning. Scheming, that is, because it rhymes.

So a return to dreaming and scheming? For me, that is marvelous indeed, because it's been a while.

This has been your Christmas card explanation and annual update. I'm looking forward to keeping up with you here, at evanandmelody.com. Because we have a URL now, just like Justin and Abi Stumvoll, and it's exciting to think that maybe this is our first step to ministering together, too. ("They're website is a lot fancier than ours." - Evan)

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